without you by my side
by roseatesky
Summary: maybe in another life, fate would let them be together. — natsu/lucy


**without you by my side**

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_when you said your last goodbye,  
i died a little bit inside._

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**THE **couple looked up at the sky, hands entwined, bittersweet smiles on their faces. They lay still, words barely exchanged, and the only sounds heard were the gush of the wind, and the steady beating of their hearts.

There was nothing left to do.

Nothing left to try.

Nothing left but to accept that this was the end.

The boy rolled over, facing the beautiful blonde in front of him. There were tears in her eyes, and she was trying to keep them at bay. He always admired her for her bravery.

Raising his hand, he lovingly brushed it against her cheek. "You know, Luce, we can still do something," he told her, his voice quiet. "I don't want it to end like this."

A stray tear escaped the blonde's eye. She reveled in the feeling of his hand on her cheek, knowing that it was the last time she'd ever feel them again. The last time they'd touch. The last time they'd kiss. The last time they'd fight, only to smile and fall in love again.

The mere thought of the pinkette leaving him killed her. How was she going to survive the actual thing?

Lucy stayed silent, the unsaid question hanging in the air above them. _'What can we do?' _They had tried, begged, prayed, for a solution, only to come up short. The two had heard enough _"I'm sorrys"_and _"There's nothing we can dos" _to last them a lifetime. The answer to the question was short and simple: nothing.

The girl looked back up, towards the sky. She could see the moon, the stars, the constellations. Lucy had always loved the stars. Now, she resented them. They would always be a reminder of what could never be.

What would never be.

Against her will, Lucy remembered when Natsu had first confessed to her.

* * *

It was a normal day in the guild, until Natsu, of all people, went inside in a _tuxedo_, struggling with a huge bouquet of yellow, star-shaped, flowers. Lucy had laughed at Natsu's expression, which was a cross between embarrassed, angry, nervous, and excited. All at the same time.

She had imagined an array of reasons why he was doing this: was it a dare from Gray, or a punishment from Erza? Lucy had been so focused on her thoughts that she had not noticed a cluster of flowers heading towards her, successfully hitting her face. Multiple times.

Pushing the flowers away, Lucy, colored petals on her hair, had come face-to-face with the culprit— the tuxedoed pinkette. "Natsu…" she had said dangerously, "what the _hell _are you doing?"

Natsu had gulped, and in a flash, another flower was thrown her way. Luckily, Lucy had caught it, murderous intent in her eyes. She stomped towards Natsu, prepared to give him the worst torture known to man, only to be stopped when a warm pair of lips smashed into hers.

She remembered her incoherent thoughts. _'Natsu… kissing… flowers… violets… blue… Levy… LEVY HAS BLUE HAIR!' _Her thoughts had run amuck, so when Natsu had let her go, Lucy forgot that she was even mad at him.

"Luce, I really, really, _really_, like you so WILL YOU BECOME MY GIRLFRIEND?" He suddenly shouted, a strong blush on his cheeks. She giggled, seeing the scared expression on his face. As if Lucy could ever reject him.

So with that thought in my mind, she had nodded, he had smiled, they had kissed, and the rest was history.

* * *

As the stars twinkled, Lucy couldn't help but think that the stars looked a lot like those flowers. They shone brightly today, like something good was about to happen. Lucy had found that ironic, because in this situation, it was the complete opposite.

She was leaving the love of her life, and it was unlikely that they would ever meet again. Lucy looked back at the sky. The moon was starting to set, it would be morning soon.

The last morning she would ever spend with him.

As much as it pained her, Lucy had already said her goodbyes to the guild earlier that morning. To add to the pain of losing Natsu, she was losing all of her friends as well. A sniffle escaped her. She didn't want this. She didn't want _any _of this. She wanted to go back to the guild, write her novel, and have a good laugh at her boyfriend with his usual antics.

But she couldn't.

Lucy hadn't even noticed that a pair of arms wrapped around her frame. "It's okay, Luce," he whispered, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Don't cry."

Natsu's voice had done nothing, except, perhaps, make her feel worse. Something broke, and the waterworks came. She sobbed into his chest. "I-It's all my fault! I- I- I bring sadness wherever I go… and all you've ever done was make me happy! I n-never should've joined F-Fairy Tail… you guys shouldn't go through this with me…"

Lucy suddenly paused, feeling a pair of eyes staring at her intensely. "Don't you ever say that you shouldn't have joined Fairy Tail." Natsu growled, his tone serious. "Lucy, nobody blames you for what happened. We're not mad at you, we're _nakama, _Luce. We all love you, Lucy, and we always will." Natsu sighed, his chest constricting at the sight of his mate in tears. "You don't know how thankful we are that you joined us. You helped us defeat all our enemies, and without you, we _never _could have. You're strong, and brave, and smart. If you weren't here, the team with Gray, Erza, and I would never last. Loke would _die_. Cana would leave the guild, and Gildarts would never know that he was her father. Dragons would take over the world because _you _found the way to get them back into the gate!" Natsu held her face lovingly. "Don't you understand, Luce? You saved us, helped us, and made us stronger. You're a true Fairy Tail member! A part of our _family_. Don't you remember what happened when you told the guild you were leaving?"

As impossible as it seemed, Lucy smiled through her tears. She _did _remember.

* * *

She had only recently found out the news, when the couple had gone to a mage to predict their future together- expecting to see themselves married and with children, only to see a dark future where they were apart, and a past memory that Lucy had forgotten about.

At the time, Natsu was the only one who had known, because they thought they could handle it themselves. That they could find a way to stop it, and get the whole thing to end. But they couldn't, and Lucy had come to terms with the fact that there was no way to.

Of course, Natsu had gotten mad at her for how quickly she had given up, but he had understood all the same. He had been with her through the numerous people they had gone to for help. Not a single one could. Natsu couldn't blame her for losing hope.

They were hugging on the couch, crying about what they were about to lose. At that moment, they also promised to tell the guild about what was going on. There was some hope in Lucy that they would find a way, but deep in her heart, she knew they wouldn't.

The walk to the guild was the same, nobody knew of what was to come. Lucy went inside with Natsu, and Natsu, rather obnoxiously, demanded their attention. "Hey everyone! We have to tell ya somethin', so better listen close!" He had shouted, getting the guild's attention. Everyone had thought it was his usual antics, so they had all turned to Lucy.

"Natsu's right," she said softly, "Mira, can you call the Master?" Lucy had asked this of the white-haired barmaid, who, previously thinking that their announcement was their engagement, had flinched a bit at Lucy's solemn tone. Nodding, she came to call the master, at the same time, calling everyone else.

"Lucy," the Master greeted, as he walked down. "What's the matter?"

After the news reached everyone, the whole guild was so quiet that nobody would think it was the 'rowdy' Fairy Tail. Lucy scanned everyone's reactions: disbelief, anger, sadness… she had expected it.

The last thing she had expected was for Gajeel to speak up. "So, what're you going to do about it, Bunny-Girl?"

Lucy had answered with a confused 'huh', when Gray answered. "You don't really think we'll just let you go, right?"

Juvia spoke next. "Lucy is Juvia's Love Rival, but she will not let this happen. Lucy is also nakama!"

"Yeah!" Levy had responded. "We'll find a way, don't think I'm going to let you go that easily, especially when you haven't finished your novel, Lu-chan!"

"You can't leave, Lushy!" Happy had added. "I saw Future Lushy leave once, and I'm not going to let Now Lushy leave too!"

There were other comments, from the Strauss Siblings, the Rajinshuu, Macao, Wendy, Romeo, Carla, and others, but all had gone quiet when Erza, the Titania, walked up to Lucy. "Do not take this burden alone, Lucy. You are our friend, our nakama. We're going to help carry this weight with you. We are Fairy Tail, and we won't give up on one of our members without a fight!" At that, Erza had raised up her fist, as the rest of the guild cheered.

"We won't let this happen to you!" and "We're going to fix this!" had echoed through the walls of the guild. Lucy was, again, brought to tears, by the strong bond she shared with her friends. She had been stupid to not have told them earlier. She held Natsu's hand, who was cheering along with the rest of the guild.

Master Makarov smiled, and walked up to the two. "Lucy," he said, "don't cry. You have strength; your own, and one which you find from the love of your nakama. Be strong. You are a member of Fairy Tail, never forget that!"

So Lucy had smiled and cried, being hugged by the people she came to know as family, hope bubbling up her chest. Was it possible? Could they find a way?

A week later, the guild came up with nothing, and Lucy's small flicker of hope had died. Time was running out, and the metaphorical clock was coming to its end.

* * *

Her last meeting with the guild was painful, to say the least. Everyone had cried, and it hurt Lucy to see what was happening. The image of their tears was plastered into her mind, and probably would be for the rest of her life.

"It's almost sunrise," Lucy suddenly noted, the moon starting to blend into the forest. It may have seemed like a regular observation, but to the both of them, they knew what it meant: this was the last time they'd see each other.

Natsu tightened his grip around his girlfriend. They were sitting upright, legs tangled together, her head leaning on his shoulder. Natsu hadn't wanted this. As un-Natsu as it sounded, he wanted to marry Lucy, live in a house, have children, and go on _so many _more adventures together. He didn't expect this to happen. He didn't want it to. But there was nothing they could do about it.

There was a weight in his back pocket. Natsu had been waiting for the right moment, for the _most romantic _moment to give it, but he knew that it wasn't going to come any time soon. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Natsu pushed the girl away. "Lucy," he whispered. "I have something to give you…"

As Natsu took the small box out of his pocket, Lucy's eyes had widened. _He couldn't be… he wouldn't… not now… not while this is happening…_

She shook her head, disbelieving. Lucy had dreamed about this, ever since she and Natsu became official (and even before that), but now, the dream seemed so impossible, so _unlikely_, that she had banished even the thought of it from her mind. "No…" Lucy whispered, letting the tears fall. "Please Natsu, please _don't_."

It hurt Natsu to see Lucy like this. He swallowed the lump, determination in his eyes. He took Lucy's hands, stopping her as she tried to pull away, ignoring her cries that told him, _"Don't do it." _It hurt him to hear those words from her mouth, but he knew that, if this was any other occasion, she'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat. And that lone thought was the only thing that fueled him on.

Once Natsu carefully opened the box that he held, the tears had slipped pathetically down Lucy's cheeks. Inside the box was a small, ruby-encrusted ring, simple, but holding so much love that its worth was immeasurable.

"Natsu…" Lucy had gasped out, the tears still falling from her face. "Please don't make this any harder for me…"

Natsu had smiled at her, even though he was crying too. "I'm sorry, Lucy," he whispered, taking out the ring, and sliding it onto her finger. He looked up at her, his eyes sparkling with undeniable love. "Be mine, forever?"

Although Lucy thought she had run out of tears, it was far from that. The tears gushed out like a waterfall, shaking her head in vehement denial. "You know I can't," Lucy sobbed, "I can't give you this. I can't promise forever!" She cried, and he held her, his heart hurting. "Give this to another girl… someone who'll make you happy… because I can't… anymore…"

Natsu's heart twisted at her words, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. How could she ever think he'd find someone else? Lucy had stolen his heart, and she wasn't going to give it back, not like he even wanted her to. "I love you, Luce," he told her, his tone serious and true. "I love you more than anyone could know, and more than any words can describe. I don't care if your worlds away, or if we'd never see each other again. I'll always love you, and _only _you. Promise me," he said, holding her hand tightly. "Promise me that you'll always be mine. I don't want to be happy with another girl; the only girl that I'll ever love is _you. _Promise me… promise me your forever."

Lucy cried, and sobbed into his chest. Even though she was crying and shaking, Natsu could hear the wobbly _"I promise"_ that came from her mouth. "I love you Natsu," she had whispered, "I'll always love you."

The promise kept, they hugged each other, and kissed each other, whispering loving words and promises they'd never have the chance to keep, smiling and crying, doing everything until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

And when Natsu woke up, Lucy was gone.

* * *

A boy looked up at the sky, his hand holding nothing, a bitter smile on his face. He lay still, no words said, and the only sounds heard were the patter of the rain, and the slow beating of his broken heart.

There was nothing he could've done.

Nothing he could've tried.

Nothing left but to face the fact that she was gone.

The pinkette rolled over, facing the empty space beside him. He had tried to keep his tears at bay, but he wasn't brave. He wasn't strong. She had always admired him for being strong, but how could he be, if all he could do was cry?

He missed her. So, so, _so, _much. She was his air, his water, what got him to sleep at night, and what made him wake up in the morning. She was his life support, and now she was gone.

_Lucy…_

* * *

_"Layla, you know why we can't let her play with children!"_

_"Can't you see what you're doing to her, Jude? You're hurting her; she doesn't have any friends!"_

_"If we allow her to be friends with others, they'll only get hurt in the end!"_

_"This is about the curse, isn't it?"_

_"You don't understand, Layla. I saw my mother disappear with my own eyes. I don't want anyone to suffer the same pain I have been for the past twenty years!"_

_"Who's to say the same will happen to Lucy? You don't know if she'll be the next one chosen!"_

_"I know she is, Layla! I had promised him!"_

_"What? Jude, what did you do?!"_

_"I'm sorry, Layla. I did what I had to."_

_"You promised a monster our daughter's life? How could you?! Are you that heartless?"_

_"He threatened to kill you! The mage knows of Lucy's potential, that she will become a strong mage. He offered me a deal. If Lucy is sacrificed to him, we will be free of the curse. No Heartfilia will ever suffer this again!"_

_"But you signed away our daughter! She has a right to her life, and you robbed her of that basic right!"_

_"She will still live! He only wants her when she's unlocked that potential, so we might not even have to let her go, if she does not become a mage!"_

_"You know Lucy! She wants to become one! It's her dream, so don't even think I'm letting you take this away from her! You will not take any more of Lucy's life!"_

_"What was I supposed to do, Layla? Let him kill you? Let him continue to kill the future members of my family? I won't let him do that! Don't you think I thought about this as well? I never wanted to sign away Lucy!"_

_"You're right. You already have."_

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**i.** so here's my hand at angsty fics! (living proof why i should never try it. ever again.)  
**ii.** if you don't get it, lucy had to leave bc her dad sold her life to end a 'curse' where heartfilias disappear.  
**iii.** that last bit with layla and jude is the memory lucy saw when she went to the mage to see their future.  
**iv.** *sigh* i'm actually disappointed in this fic? might make this a two-shot to make it better, idk.

— sarah.


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